Its the kids that matter….

Okay.  I would like to address the issues that parents have with divorce and their children.  First I would like to point out that I have been through a divorce with a child.  So I do have experience in this matter.

It drives me crazy to watch how some parents play their children as little pawns in their hate game with the ex.  These poor children are being emotionally torn apart because of this.  Of course, alot of these parents aren’t considering the effects on the children and don’t even realize that they are fucking their kids up, but there are some that do know and continue anyway.  Their all obsessed, spiteful mission of making their ex’s life a living hell has become a priority for these people.  It’s pathetic!  And it’s really the children that suffer.  So here are some important points to live by after divorce.

• Whatever that asshole, piece of shit, or stupid bitch did is no longer an issue.  That’s why you got a divorce.  So the first point to make is to just get over it. 
• Don’t continue sleeping with the ex.  I know how this sounds but many, many divorced couples still continue having sex.  Maybe it’s a habit, comfort zone kind of thing, but it’s just not a good idea.  It makes “getting over it” more difficult and just prolongs the issues.
• Realize that you are still co-parenting even though your not together.  It is important for the upbringing of your children that both parents are involved.
• Positive communication is imperative.  Are there going to be times that even after the divorce your ex may do something to piss you off?  Your damn right!!  And I am sure that you will piss off you ex.  But issues should be discussed rationally.  Besides, your children will notice this and will see that even though their mom and dad are divorced, they are still a united front as parents.  This will give them security, less anxiety, and better discipline.
• The new boyfriend/girlfriend.  This is the biggee!!  This is usually what sends the other into a frenzy.  Your ex is not going to stay single forever and neither are you.  This situation can be even more difficult if the boyfriend/girlfriend is the reason you got divorced.  But again, refering to point one, it is time to get over it.  Do not teach your children to be disrespectful because your mad.  It is also important that you get along with your replacement.  This person is going to be around your kids when your not around.  If you disrespect them, they may take it out on your kids.  You want your children and the new person to have a good relationship.  Keep in mind…they are not going to replace you!!